Decision to Move

I knew I had to leave Calgary.  But that was such a hard decision to truly make and put into action.  My then husband made it really obvious to me that he was never coming back.  I had no family there.  Calgary, though beautiful, is cold for a lot of the year.  And I love summer and warmth.  But change is never easy.  I always thought my next move would again be with my husband.  To do this on my own just seemed so difficult.  I stressed over this for such a long time, but couldn’t seem to put it into action.

My girlfriend was planning a solo trip to Mexico.  She asked if I wanted to join her.  I thought how could I go to Mexico when I was trying to figure out my life?  And how could I spend that money on a trip just for me?  I told her no, I couldn’t do that.  And I let it go, or so I thought.  Less than 2 weeks before she was going, I was walking my dog on a cold November day at Nose Hill park.  He was off running, and I was thinking about the visa statements I had just seen.  I saw everything he was spending on her and on his new lifestyle.  And as I walked in the cold and wind, I did the math.  And the trip to Mexico would cost almost to the penny what he had spent the last month.  Another synchronicity.

I immediately called Leanne and told her that I was going to Mexico with her.  Before I knew it, I was on my way to Puerto Vallarta with a girlfriend.  I hadn’t traveled with girlfriends for 25 years.  I really didn’t know what to expect. 

The trip was beyond my expectations.  There at the beach I felt free.  And I loved that feeling.  The sand and the sea are so healing for me.  And we laughed A LOT!!!  It was truly awesome. 

While we were sitting on the beach, guys would come around trying to sell parasailing trips.  I love water, and though it intrigued me, I was too scared to give it a try.  But every day they would come by, and we got to talking.  The head guy was interesting.  He was Mexican, had lived in the US for a while, but was deported for being in a gang.  He told me all this, and all about his kids.  I told him my fears of parasailing.  He told me not to worry.  He would catch me and not let me hit the water.  Leanne has always been a huge cheerleader of mine, and she was with me since I first found out about the other woman.  She encouraged me to give it a try, as it was obvious I was interested.  And for some reason, I totally trusted this guy.  After the affair, I wondered if I would ever trust a man about anything ever again.  And here I was, putting my trust into this guy on the beach. 

But trust I did, and I went flying.  And I have never felt so free in all my life.  It was amazing, beyond words.  I didn’t want the ride to end.  But end it must.  And as I was coming back down to earth, he caught just as he said he would.  He never let me touch the water.  It was all just magical.  So much in there for me to process.  Freedom.  Trust.  Beauty.  Friendship.  Love.  I felt it all.

I got back home to Calgary, and knew what I had to do.  It was time to get my home on the market for sale, and move back to the US.  We had lived in the house for 13 years.  My kids went to junior high, high school, and some college there.  We had accumulated a lot of stuff.  I texted my then husband, as that was the only way he would communicate with me, and told him about my plans to sell the house and move back to the states.  He agreed to it, and told me to just take care of it all.  I spent a month decluttering, moving stuff, fixing stuff, and getting the house ready for sale.  I did it all myself.  I interviewed the realtors, signed the listing contract, and then just waited for the house to sell. 

I am now a realtor in Columbus, and know first hand how stressful it is to try to sell your home.  I would wait for a call from her.  We would have showing, and I had to get the house ready and take the dog out.  We had 2 open houses, one when it was -35 degrees celsius.  All I could do was bundle up and head out for 2 hours, walk a bit, and trying to warm up in the car.  It took 2 months, but I did get the house in contract.  The buyers wanted to move in 45 days.  Suddenly, the clock started ticking for me.  I had to figure out where I was going and find a place to live. 

I have family in Ohio and California.  It was between those 2 states.  But with California being so expensive, and my daughter in Columbus, I chose Ohio.  I found a realtor on Zillow. I flew in the following Thursday, looked at houses on Friday, went back to 2 on Saturday, put an offer in on one and had it accepted on Sunday, booked an inspection for Tuesday morning, and was back in Calgary Tuesday evening.  It was a whirlwind.  But I was doing it.  I was leaving Calgary and moving back to Ohio. 

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